Justine's Journal #6

52 Weeks 500 Words

This is how it began: Justine (not her real name) decided to write 500 words (or as near as), anything goes, per week for 52 weeks. She would then submit it for anonymous posting, via me, her friend. Perhaps a pattern will emerge from her words, but at this stage it’s more an experiment I have agreed to share in. I’ll attempt to draw conclusions at the end of this. Stay tuned if this resonates with you.

Week 6

'It’s been quiet now for a while, both the world around me and the space inside my head. For days I haven’t felt the need to lash out at someone or something, about an event or situation that didn't sit well. This sense of silence engenders a time of more tranquil contemplation, but I must tell you I’m also a little wary of it.

Questions begin to pop up into the quietness. Why are you accepting now? Why does nothing bother you at this point? Is there a mighty storm coming? Does something prepare you for a time of terrible trial? Are you fooling yourself that all is well?

How strange we are, really, us humans. We don’t accept and give thanks for peace, we immediately begin to wonder how long it will last. Instead of enjoying the calm, we question its reality. We are never happy, really, are we? Is this why life is ever filled with busyness? Do we only feel comfortable when life is uncomfortable? If that is so, we are in trouble as a civilisation.

Yes, question everything, or we become the ignorant creatures sitting the fence somewhere in the background. Yes, analyse answers, or we could well be faced with lies and deceit. BUT also be grateful for those small occasions when the quiet steals over us, for this is when we find ourselves, when we find the ways through questions and answers and become more.

It’s hard to do. As I write this my head begins to explode and I’m now asking myself why I interfered with the quiet in my world and my head. Why did I not sit back and allow peace to soothe me for a time? Why question everything when this can be a cocoon of comfort? And that’s it right there. A cocoon of comfort, emphasis on cocoon. Will I allow it to wrap me up and spirit me away into la-la-land? And become the quiet into eternity? NO. This isn't me.

I am of fire and earth and water and air. We all are. We are elemental in biology, in the spaces we inhabit, in our thoughts and in our creativity and the impact we make on others and the world around us. We are alive!

I say breathe in the quiet and the calm when it comes, but always know it is a state, not a place to hide away in. Enjoy the break from busyness and give thanks for it, but always understand it is an interlude to rebuild strength and a time to know yourself without the interruptions that come with life. Never accept. Never vanish. Question. Answer. Examine answers. For we are made of fire and earth and water and air, and the only certainty, ever, is change. I say we should be prepared for it … or change will throw you hard to the ground and give you a mighty bump on your head.'