Justine's Journal #17

52 Weeks 500 Words

This is how it began: Justine (not her real name) decided to write 500 words (or as near as), anything goes, per week for 52 weeks. She would then submit it for anonymous posting, via me, her friend. Perhaps a pattern will emerge from her words, but at this stage it’s more an experiment I have agreed to share in. I’ll attempt to draw conclusions at the end of this. Stay tuned if this resonates with you.

Week 17

'Life is definitely a rollercoaster! Up and down with wide swings and narrow turns. I've gone back and had a look at previous entries and, you know what? I come across as a bit of a whine. I seem to be a rather negative person … at least, I sound like one when I’m writing my feelings down.

I don’t like that. Right, that’s another whine for you. Still, I don’t like that about myself, for I've always believed I’m a rather positive kind of person. Fine, understandably, that idiot who decided to stalk me, that would make anyone negative and cause absolute distrust with surroundings and people, and yet I should be able to move forward and be more positive. That, after all, was a life experience, the kind that teaches lessons. The learning is itself a positive attribute. And now I find myself smiling, for I do believe the lesson just came home! And as I haven’t again heard a peep from the quarter, I think I’ll take it on board.

There it is. The more positive outlook. I know life is hard and each of us needs to deal with so many issues, circumstances, emotions and situations, and I’m aware this is why we sometimes sound negative to others- when a friend asks how you are, do you say ‘fine’ or do you actually tell your friend the truth? You’d tell a real friend the truth, the bad stuff, how terrible you feel etc, and that might make us appear whining. How enlightening. Enlightening, because it now occurs to me that to be regarded as a positive person by others, including our real friends, do not tell the truth.

That can’t be right. This is a concept that requires more soul-searching, I think. I’ll do so and let you in on my conclusions when I have them. At this point, however, allow me to say I’d rather be seen as a whine than be less than truthful with those who matter, as I would prefer them to tell me their ‘bad’ stuff no matter how that makes them appear.

Let us celebrate honesty first! The rest we can figure out as we go. And that, friends, is actually a positive attitude. Hmm, I’m quite proud of me right now.'