Even the boldest, most confident
writers can cower in fear and sob with frustration when confronted with the
problem of whether to use who or whom in a
sentence. Heck, I know it confuses me.
Here’s the distinction: Use who to
refer to the subject of the sentence (“I am the person who you are looking
for”) and whom to refer to the object of the sentence (“Whom
have you invited?”)
If you’re still unsure about which
form to use in a sentence, try this test: Restate the sentence with a personal
pronoun, or, if it is a question, answer the question with one word. If the personal
pronoun in the restatement or response is he or she, who is
correct. If it’s him or her, whom is
correct.
Statement: “I have a friend who can help.”
Restatement: “He can help.” (Who is correct.)
Restatement: “He can help.” (Who is correct.)
Question: “Whom have you invited?”
Response: “Him.” (Whom is correct.)
Response: “Him.” (Whom is correct.)
Note, however, that sometimes you can
avoid the problem of determining which form to use by omitting a relative
pronoun altogether, and the result is often an improvement. For example, the
sentence “I am the person who you are looking for” is better rendered as “I am
the person you are looking for.”
Also, beware of these pitfalls:
“They’ll complain to whoever [not whomever] will listen” is
correct, because whoever is the subject of “will listen.” However,
“Whomever [not whoever] you hire is fine with me” is correct
because whomever is the object of hire.
Furthermore, use of whom in
a sentence such as “It was Smith and Jones whom we had to contend with” is a hyper-correction (“It was Smith and Jones who we had to contend with” is
correct, though the sentence is better with the pronoun omitted: “It was Smith
and Jones we had to contend with.”) Append a phrase containing the same pronoun
to realize how awkward this form is. (“It was Smith and Jones whom we had to
contend with, whom some among us feared.”)
These complications, and others, make
traditional rules regarding use of whom problematic; when even
experienced writers have to repeatedly pore through a grammar text to remind
themselves about the details, the distinction has ceased to be practical. The
fusty who/whom distinction is fading in conversational usage,
and it is my fervent hope that the use of whom except in
unambiguous “to whom” constructions will likewise atrophy.
Taken from DAILY WRITING TIPS
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