Saturday, August 1, 2015

Justine's Journal #50

52 Weeks 500 Words

This is how it began: Justine (not her real name) decided to write 500 words (or as near as), anything goes, per week for 52 weeks. She would then submit it for anonymous posting, via me, her friend. Perhaps a pattern will emerge from her words, but at this stage it’s more an experiment I have agreed to share in. I’ll attempt to draw conclusions at the end of this. Stay tuned if this resonates with you.

Week 50

"Do you know this one? Due to the drama caused by certain members of your family, you choose to walk away. You cut them out of your life, because your sanity is more important to you than always ‘coping’ with the latest drama.

Yes? Many of us eventually reach this point where staying away is the better option, don’t we?

And then something happens that could change it. In this instance, a friend walked away from family … and now someone has fallen ill, seriously ill. To make peace, she would like to visit, but there is so much added stuff that comes with doing this, she is now in quite a bind. On the one hand, she will feel terribly guilty if she stays away, but on the other hand she must expect havoc to re-enter her life once more if she steps into that ring again.

I don’t know how to advise her. My family is sparse, but I have had friends I now no longer have contact with. So I understand, but family, of course, is not quite the same as a friend you no longer see. What wold you do? Which is the better choice?

Why do so many of us function only when there is drama in our lives? We say we don’t need it and yet seek it out and sometimes even cause it. Why? If we sought peace first, my friend would make her way to the hospital in ease and visit without the expectations of doom now hanging over her.

Unfortunately, this is the negative side in all of us. This is how we get our energy. Without it we feel drained and have no sense of place. Right? But hold on here, is it not also true that at the end of a long day of drama we feel drained and without direction? It stands to reason then, the energy we think we get is in fact the wrong energy. It may bolster us through the day (or so we think) but at the end of it we have lost ourselves, rather than gained.

There is no easy answer, other than to suggest toning down the drama. Concentrate on peace. This is what my friend did, of course, in staying away … so what now? I would say pay that visit and make your peace and then step away again, even if it means putting your phone off for a week or two until the others involved get the message. Maybe that’s being rude and stubborn, but we have to take care of ourselves first.

Good luck, my friend. My door is open if you need to unload, know that!"

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