Saturday, July 18, 2015

Justine's Journal #48

52 Weeks 500 Words

This is how it began: Justine (not her real name) decided to write 500 words (or as near as), anything goes, per week for 52 weeks. She would then submit it for anonymous posting, via me, her friend. Perhaps a pattern will emerge from her words, but at this stage it’s more an experiment I have agreed to share in. I’ll attempt to draw conclusions at the end of this. Stay tuned if this resonates with you.

Week 48

"Recently I went back and read a few of my old entries; trying to see how they would look in the book we are planning.
I must tell you I was really negative when this began. It is as clear as daylight to me now that I have really grown over the weeks that followed those initial entries. Wow. Isn’t it fantastic how we are able to let go of what burdens us and, in doing so, we start moving forward? I have moved forward!
In fact, my go-to position now is to write about something positive (for the most part) rather than focus on the negative, and that wasn’t the case in the past. Then I would record the bad, rather than focus on the good. I’m liking the new me. I feel more comfortable in her skin.
We are like this, you know.
Given a conscious choice, most of us would prefer focusing on the side of us that makes us smile and feel good about ourselves.
Unfortunately, it’s in the sub-conscious where the negative tends to swirl and when asked how we are, we blurt out what is wrong with us instead of what is going right. We really are strange creatures.
The trick, I believe, is to bring our sub-conscious in line with our conscious selves, so that out automatic response is ever positive. Of course this is the ideal and of course we are human and sometimes fail, but I have found that writing the negative out of my system has really helped. I know I have mentioned before that a journal aids this, that releasing the feelings to paper (or digital) will lessen the impact negative thoughts have, but this is my way of coping.
My way is only a suggestion. Do find what works for you.
As this session of self-analysis draws to a close (four to go after this one) I begin to see how much it has helped me. I am so glad I have an actual journal under my pillow to continue this, for this is how I now focus my thoughts and feelings. In a way, I’m less impulsive about my reactions as well, for I tend now to consider something from more than one angle before diving into a situation. This has prevented me going off the deep end on more than one occasion.
Still, there is a place for impulsive. We cannot always think everything through. But, if we succeed in bringing our sub-conscious in line with our conscious selves, our reactions would insert the positive into impulsivity.
Yes, I’m still learning how to do so and the learning won’t end when these journal entries do. We are ever a work in progress, aren’t we? But I’m thinking it will become easier and easier as practice becomes perfect(ish)!
Keep smiling! Allow your sunny nature the upper hand as often as you can manage it!"

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